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5 Crucial Mothers’ Mistake Why Girls Are Needy in a Relationship

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Are you wondering why girls are needy in a relationship? In this article, you will know five crucial mothers’ mistakes that leads to that.

alt="an image of a mother and the daughter. Illustration of controlling girls being needy in a relationship"
Photo credit: pexels / Lucas Souza

Girls are very emotional, so your relationship with them as a mother goes a long way on how they manage their emotions.

Whether it has got to do with their early or later stage, emotion is emotion to them, and what they grow with is what they carry.

Clingy and emotionally needy daughters or those you perceive to be one, are simply damzels in distress.

Acting in ways that are negative to them will not just hurt their feelings, it also has a tendency to obstruct their self-esteem.

The truth is that you can hardly tell when you’re clingy or needy in a relationship, unless you’re been told by someone, probably someone close to you.

However, if you managed to figure it out yourself, applauds. It shows that you’re quite in control of your emotions.

But you can always tell you’re clingy when you don’t seem to be satisfied emotionally, no matter how hard the person in question tries.

Its effects on others

To justify, it’s not okay to be clingy when considering the person at the receiving end of the behavior.

Behaving that way intentionally may not be clear to you that it hurts the intended person.

Being clingy unintentionally is normal, but when it becomes the other way round, it’s not.

However, whether you do it intentionally or not, those at the receiving end of it will be hurt, and it could affect your relationship with them.

Facts about girls being needy in a relationship

Right from the moment a baby is born, it’s very important that the baby is shown enough love, care, and attention.

You can’t deny the fact that females are very emotional.

The best you could do to make sure you don’t hurt their emotions is to abstain from things that will hurt them in one way or the other.

Unfortunately, most mothers don’t know that the relationship with their daughters also plays a role in how her daughter manages her emotions.

That’s the reason why mothers should show daughters that love as much as possible.

But It shouldn’t start and end anytime, it should be a continual process.

In other words, you shouldn’t stop showing them that love because they have reached a certain age.

But when they reach the maturity age, you can withdraw a bit.

Being clingy and needy in relationship

After a girl experiences a bad relationship with her mother, it’s very normal for her to become needy in a relationship.

But you can always control the act with little effort.

What do you notice in your relationship? Start with that. After figuring out what you noticed, find out what caused it, then you will have the solution.

Often, you can tell if a girl is clingy when she’s never satisfied with the emotional care she gets.

That means it just won’t be enough, no matter the effort you put in to satisfy them emotionally.

With that, we can say that a clingy behavior means acting in a manner that clearly frustrates the efforts of a person innocent of his or her intentions.

Unlike the case of girls, a clingy boyfriend is more often as a result of habit he developed.

However, In order not to cause problems, the right way to tell him will go a long way, especially when dealing with a toxic relationship.

You can do that by telling him in an indirect way when he’s in a good mood or when you both are having a good time together.

How to stop being clingy and jealous

The best way to stop being clingy or needy in a relationship is to have a great relationship with your mother.

Although this would have been taken care of at the initial stage, but it’s never too late to strengthen the bond with your mother.

Later in this article, we shall be looking at those mistakes mothers make that causes girls to be needy in a relationship.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with attaching yourself to someone, but there’s a difference between that and being clingy or needy of emotions.

The neediness here is the fact that, the person possessing it can’t feel satisfied emotionally in a relationship.

That means the person is never satisfied with the amount of love you give to them.

Children, especially the daughters should be satisfied emotionally by the parents, and most importantly, by the mothers.

It’s a sort of mother and daughter relationship.

Even though daughters tend to be closer to their fathers most times, the mothers should never limit their relationship with their daughters.

When they lack that bond with their mother, it results to clingy trait and emotional neediness.

So, to answer the big question, why do girls end up being clingy or needy in a relationship?

Why girls are needy in a relationship

Haven known what being needy is and its effects, let’s find out the solutions by knowing how mothers cause it.

Better still, you should be able to find answers to your long awaited questions.

Below are the causes of clingy and emotionally needy daughters.

1. Being dismissive

There are certain times girls will go to their mother for advise or just to have a good chat.

Sometimes, she may go to her mother for support or in any other way the mother could assist with her problems.

Dismissing daughters at crucial times like this will make them feel rejected, and they will end up being needy in a relationship.

It will also make them lack experience at certain things in life, especially as a girl.

If such happens, the more curious ones who didn’t get what they expected will be forced to portray trait of emotional neediness, even at an early stage.

At that point in time, that’s when they just feel they could get that which you deprived them of from anyone.


Apart from the fact that they seek full attention of anybody, they’re fighting something within.

Because they’re emotionally hurt as a result of the poor relationship with their mother, they’re combating something more serious.

Now, when you think you’re trying to show them emotional care, it just won’t be enough.

The main factor is missing. That’s what is needed to feel the gap of all the emotional neediness.

Instead of being dismissive to your daughter and making her turn away from you, use that as a medium to create stronger bond between you and your daughter.

Mothers should to be welcoming to their daughters, It will set the right pace in the relationship with their daughters.

It’s also their duty to know when daughters their needs assistance, even when they don’t ask.

2. Being controlling

Don’t put a policy of restrictions on your daughter, rather apply the rule of diplomacy when the situation calls for such.

In most cases, you will realize that daughters get scared of a controlling person.

That means it will be very important not to be controlling when dealing with them as a mother.

The mistake most mothers make is causing their daughters to fear them, either by being controlling or any other harsh approach.

Whether it’s done consciously or unconsciously, it’s very important not to get them to be scared of you.

Well, you could be controlling as a means of parenting. That could be okay to some extent.

However, you could do so as a means of upbringing when it they’re very little, but when she begins to mature, it’s vital you stop controlling them.

That means mothers should try as much as possible to avoid the act.

There’s a safer way to go about it if you want to set up good upbringing, but not in a manipulative manner.

3. Being unavailable

Nothing hurts a daughter emotionally like unavailable parents, especially from the mother.

Most times, daughters will need that care and love from their mother.

The best they expected at that time is for you to be there as their mother.

Unfortunately, you cannot tell when your daughter crave for that love and care they deserve.

That’s why being available for them is very important.

How do you do this? It’s simple. Prioritize their attention over ungencies.

The better you can convey this to them, the better you free them from the emotional stress.

If you travel a lot, then it’s vital you communicate often with your daughters.

If it’s possible they can travel along with you, let them do so.

There’s a certain connection daughters get when they do fun things together with their mother.

The connection she has with her mother will eventually pay off when she grows up and begins to stay away from home.

Daughters barely forget great times they had in the past, especially when it involves their mother.

Memories like travel experience she had with the mother will keep her going when she feels down.

There are many little things mothers do with their daughters thinking it doesn’t make any difference, but most times, such things means a lot to them.

4. Being emerged

Daughters hate it when their mother is not consistent being with them. Because of that, you should plan your schedule to suite them.

You don’t want to get them thinking you could be there for them, but you chose not to and all of a sudden, you’re back again.

This is very important to avoid, especially when they begin to feel very close to you for the attention you’re already giving.

Sadly, the mistake some mothers make is that they tend to be away for long, and when next you come back could be when the daughter is trying move on.

That means If you choose be there for them at all times, then it’s very important you maintain it.

The strong reason to this is so that they don’t get to feel something different from your expectations, Such as having the thought that you don’t take their emotions seriously.

When this is not controlled, they will end up seeking for a better attention or excess of it somewhere else.

The momery of kids develops at a rapid pace with what happens around them

Therefore, their brain should also be properly stimulated before they reach maturity age.

If you don’t stimulate it well when they’re little, it will lead to a not-so-good behavior when they grow up.

5. Being combative

Girls also don’t like their mother being mean to them.

They are very emotional beings, and according sudies, they’re 70% more likely to miss-quote your mean personality than males.

If it ever gets to them and they wait to see if there will be a change and nothing happens, questions may begin to come out.

In most cases, they may end up feeling you don’t love and care for them, feeling hated or something discouraging to their emotions.

When such lingers for a long time, it could affect their emotions negatively.

Just like it was earlier mentioned about their brains and memory development, they can be very good with memories, so being combative should be avoided.

That means as a mother, you should also note that their tender age is very important concerning how you treat them.

As a result of this, you should consider it when you happen to do anything with them.

They may grow into maturity age and understand you for being mean, but not when they’re little.

So, that means by avoiding being mean with your daughters, you also protect them from being needy in a relationship.

Wrap up

It’s important to understand and accept how emotional girls can be, this will really go a long way on how their emotions will be managed.

To make sure that a girl maintains a healthy emotional state free of emotional neediness, it also requires a solid relationship with her mother.

Most relationship with on-going emotional neediness from the girl was as a result of this poor mother-daughter relationship.

However, developing a great relationship between the mother and her daughter should be able to help in resolving this.

While developing the relationship as a mother, it’s also important to take note of those actions that could trigger the neediness, so that you can avoid them.

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