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8 Risky And Dangerous Sides of Being a People Pleaser

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alt="a girl holding camera high in a concert towards the stage. Illustration of risky part of people pleasers"
Photo Credit : Stocksnap.io / Burst

Do you think you’re a people pleaser but aren’t sure if it can be risky in any way? In this article, you will know why it’s not safe to be one.

Today, I want to talk about why it’s risky and dangerous to be a people pleaser – just like I said.

While life is not easy, the last thing you want to do is putting yourself in some risky and dangerous acts that won’t yield good results.

Unfortunately, being a people pleaser is one of those risky and dangerous aspects. It only makes matter worst.

People pleasers innocently shows their kind hearted side, but they usually mistake some things they do for being cool.

They forget to set limits, so that they can separate their usual kind personality from being a people pleaser.

You may tell a someone, “hey, do you know that what you’re doing is not what you’re supposed to do”, but the person won’t be convinced until you explain the repercussions.

It’s similar to what this post is about. Let’s get started..

Risky sides of being a people pleaser

Risky and dangerous sides of being a people pleaser

Below are the risky and dangerous sides of being a people pleaser.

1. Puts much pressure on you

For all we know, you can’t please everyone. Innocently, you’re trying to be you, but not knowing you’re exceeding limits by being a people pleaser.

Since it’s already known that you can’t please everyone, it will be risky if you continue to do that.

You will suck up your energy and mount much pressure on yourself if you continue doing more than you’re capable of.

The ones who value you will be contented with who you’re, and as a result, it should relieve stress and pressure from you.

That’s why you should never give in those who don’t seem to value you for who you’re. The moment you give in, you’re already being a people pleaser.

Also, it can be risky in the sense of putting much pressure on you when get disappointed by those you were good to and trusted.

2. Losing control of yourself

Actually, it may seem like you can be in control of yourself at will. While you may think so, it’s true, but not when you’re a people pleaser.

For example, what makes you to be in total control of yourself is simply focus.

However, by the time you begin to have divided attention by being a people pleaser, you begin to lose that focus, and your control begins to die slowly.

Worst of it all, when you continue to lose control of yourself, it negatively affects one aspect of your mental strength (I presume you already know the aspect).

In other words, your mental toughness begins to slack as a result of that, instead of it getting stronger by the day.

3. Suppresses a lot of emotions

Instead of relaxing and enjoying every thing life has to offer, you end up suppressing your emotions by caring what others think.

Because when you care too much about what others think, you stand a high chance of suppressing your emotions when you don’t get the kind of treatments you expected.

So, in order not to be a victim of such, one of the best ways to avoid it is to ensure you’re not a people pleaser, especially to those who ends up treating you badly.

The right step to take would be to not censor yourself to the point of suppressing your emotions.

4. Prone to psychological and emotional breakdown

Your mind has a better chance of working well when you surround yourself with positive people that gives good energy.

However, if you continue being a people pleaser, you will not be able to separate the toxic ones from the positive ones.

The reason is because you’re constantly seeking to please everyone, so anything and anyone goes, as long as you have that desire to be liked by them.

Unfortunately, they will suck up your energy. As a result of that, you won’t grow yourself as you desired, and your ability to maintain a stable mindset will be at minimal.

Read also: Characteristics of people pleasers you mistake for being cool

5. Prone to people using you

Another risky side of being a people pleaser is that you will be prone to people using you. Some people are very hungry for those they can take advantage of at their own comfort.

The more you continue being a people pleaser, the more you increase the chances of falling into the trap people users.

However, most times, such people aren’t even in search of people they can exploit, sometimes, they just perceive them and strike.

As long as you can’t set limits and curtail the characteristics of people pleasers, it’s unlikely you won’t experience people using you.

6. People fist on your emotions

When it comes to being kind hearted, it involves your emotion much more to show that side of your personality to others.

So, because you need that emotion to carry out kind acts, if you use it too much in expectations of something in return, it may get ugly sooner or later.

Because there will be a high probability that most people won’t care about the reasons for you doing so or even not caring about your emotions.

Also, you should note that when most people fist in your emotions, they don’t see it at damaging to your emotions.

7. No one knows who you truly are

If you decide to be a people pleaser and just please anybody that crosses your path, you’ll indirectly be giving mixed signals to people.

No one will know the true you and when you’re genuinely nice or just faking it all for your own interest.

But if you can control being a people pleaser and become more selective with people, then you’ll make it clear to people that you’re either this or that.

So, instead of being a people pleaser and not setting boundaries, you should take charge so you can filter some people out.

8. You begin to feel lonely

The final risky side of being a people pleaser is that you will begin to feel lonely. Either you de-tach or they de-tach, but it’s inevitable.

One of my favorite quote says, “some people are judged for being real, while others are loved for being fake”

It just serves as an eye-opener to people pleasers that no matter how nice they’re, they can’t please everyone, and some people don’t have regards for it.

In that case, taking the kindness too far simply means you will be exposing yourself to a wider range of haters instead of the opposite.

And you already know how it goes with haters. It’s much better to maintain a small circle of loyalty than a large circle of haters.

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